I found these funny but true Transportation Security Administration guidelines for bringing your monkey helper on board a plane from a recent Boing Boing post:

Transportation Security Administration
Security Animals

Monkey Helpers

  • When a monkey is being transported in a carrier, the monkey must be removed from the carrier by the handler prior to screening,
  • The monkey must be controlled by the handler throughout the screening process.
  • The monkey handler should carry the monkey through the WTMD while the monkey remains on a leash.
  • When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.
  • Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.
  • TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.
  • TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.
  • The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.

Well, they may be taking off his diaper. That would be loads of fun.

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