CBC 119: David Cardon and the Unfortunate Incident
This week, we’re featuring double bassist David Cardon telling a bass-related tale that I find extremely amusing. I’d rather not give out any details beyond that–just check out this concise (less than 10 minutes) story from Dave. Dave is also involved with the excellent music publisher Discordia Music, which specializes in ultra-classy editions for the double bass. Check them out!
I haven’t done a whole lot of “story episodes” during the run of Contrabass Conversations, but I’m always itching to do more, so hopefully I’ll get some time to do so over the summer this year. You can check out the story episodes that have come out (which include my car explosion tale) below:
- Auditioning is a Rotten Pastime
- Annoying Conductors 101
- Bugs Bunny is My Mortal Enemy
- My Car Caught Fire and Exploded!
- Cabs!
World’s greatest wine rack
Bass blog contributor Benjy recently forwarded this pic of an ultra-cool wine rack. OK–it might have cello pegs, but the body is 100% bass.
Benjy writes:
If this were standing next to my bass, the choice of open strings or open bottles would be difficult! But then, why not both?
Sounds good to me!
My new business card!
I don’t know what got into me. I was ordering a new bath (a big batch!) of business cards for the fast approaching International Society of Bassists convention. I decided to actually make some decent-looking cards this time, instead of the cheap-o card stock I usually default to for this kind of stuff. I made nice, glossy, double-sided cards with an ad for doublebassblog.org on one side and my contact info on the other. I was looking through my iPhoto library and… well, I just couldn’t resist picking the ugliest darn photo I could find for myself. I can’t wait to see the expression on people’s faces when I hand them one of these puppies in June!
Memorable quotes in double bass history
“…when their derision became too much to bear, I dispatched one of them with my bow and boggled the others with my technical proficiency.”
-Giovanni Bottesini, Parma, 1877
Courtesy of the International Bottesini Society, keeper of the flame for the great mustachioed one.
(…and if you believe that one, I’ve got a bridge for sale right here in Evanston!)
Washington: Bassists especially hard it in economic times of woe (whoah!)
Economic Crisis Takes It’s Toll on Live Music
-from Mostlybass.com news department.
World’s Least Comfortable Bass Stools
Have you ever sat on a bass stool that was bad to the bone? I don’t mean some vaguely uncomfortable, scruffy, mangy, chewed up old wooden stool or a squeaky bar stool designed to elicit annoyed glances from all the cellists in front of you.
I’m talking about a stool that actually seems designed to cause posterior havoc, to eat through your trousers and send pain stabbing up into your back and down into the soles of your feet.
Well, friends, I am quite familiar with a stool like this…a whole set of stools, actually, and they are, believe it or not, the old Chicago Symphony bass stools. Though I initially felt a sense of pride as I sat on the same stools as these guys used (or used to use), the novelty quickly wore off with the wicked chafing I received while using these instruments of destruction.
How those guys managed to endure these things is completely beyond me. I’ve been using them for Symphony Center gigs in Chicago for over 10 years; they get distributed to the second stringer groups that come through the home of the Chicago Symphony, sending scores of hapless bassists wincing back to their cars in the parking garage after performances.
Though they might not look as fearsome as I’m making them out to be from these photos, believe me: they are. Under that black pad is an evil aluminum ring of death, an uncomfortable metallic circle with no actual pad in the middle. Whether this was a result of years of use, a bizarre design choice, or some cruel prank played on visiting bass players, I’m not sure, but the result is like sitting perched on the open end of an oil drum. Ever sit on the edge of an open oil drum…and then try to play bass? Try it sometime and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Wriggle Wriggle
The pain begins the same every time. First, the evil aluminum circle cuts off all circulation to my legs. I then begin this kind of weird seesawing motion to bring back some feeling, which probably looks to an outside observer like, well…. I don’t even want to think about it!
My lower back hunches, vertebrae creaking uncomfortably into an unnatural contortion, my shoulders hunching like some sort of neanderthal as I try to shift my weight around to no avail. Everything in my body starts to seize up, until I feel like I’m playing with bandages wrapped tightly around all my limbs and torso. I swivel the darn thing around, trying to find a comfortable position and probably putting on a great obsessive-compulsive sideshow to the rehearsal or concert.
Also, I know I’m not the only one; my colleagues on these same stools have a look on their faces like an ill wind has wafted through the bass section by this point. We all look like a miserable, squirmy bunch of folks up there, I’m sure, undoubtedly making for an unusual impression upon the audience.
These things are truly a pile of pain, designed at every turn to destroy the posterior of any bassist unfortunate enough to encounter them. Where’s the ButtCradle (video link) when you need it?
Dehair the Rehair
One of my colleagues was over at my place a few years ago, and we were geeking out in true double bass fashion, playing duets, working on excerpts together, and getting into deep discussions about gear.
He and I left for lunch, leaving our basses out of their cases. We had a good time, got back, and he proceeded to pack up and take off.
pluck, pluck…
Later that day, my wife told me an amusing little tale about something unexpected that happened while we were gone.
Apparently, my big man cat Dan decided to do a little investigating of my colleague’s gear. He had left his bow out on our coffee table, and Dan the cat quickly realized that he could pluck the bow hairs out of the tip with his claw. My wife walked into the living room and found Mr. Dan furiously pulling the hairs off this bow. He’d gotten at least a dozen or so. Horrified, she pulled him off the table and shooed him away.
Uh oh!
Not knowing what to do, she took some nail clippers and trimmed all the broken hairs off the stick. My friend and I came home late that day and he packed up his gear, not knowing that his load had been lightened by quite a few bow hairs.
I didn’t know about this until later that day, and I got a good chuckle out of it, though I did eventually tell my friend about the dehairing incident.
Look out for kitties and basses! They can do some pretty destructive things with their little claws and fangs.
Here Comes the Bride
After publishing my first book Road Warrior Without and Expense Account last month, I’m hard at work 
editing my next book, which will feature scores of crazy gig stories and will (probably) be titled “My Car Caught Fire and Exploded!”
This amusing little story was told to me by a bassist as we were waiting for a gig to begin last month. Hope you enjoy it!
Here Comes the Bride – careful what you ask for!
A colleague of mine got a call to play a wedding recently with a rather strange request. The bride wanted “Here Comes the Bride” played at the ceremony….but she specifically requested that the double bass play the melody!
“Uh, okay…” my colleague replied. “So you must have… played the bass in high school, then?”
“No,” said the bride.
“Uh…. okay…..”
It’s not that we bassists can’t play Here Comes the Bride, of course. But why the bass? It’s like having the tuba play revelry or taps at a military ceremony. Kind of cool but kind of… well…. unusual.
Practicing the part
Not wanting to screw up the melody and make a mockery out of this bride’s wedding, my colleague practiced the music thoroughly. How exactly does one want this melody to sound on the bass? Jazzy? Straight? Pizzicato? Arco?
He eventually decided to play it in a very straight ahead, almost march-like fashion.
Bridal Bow Bumps
This gig happened in a very cramped little chapel, and as my colleague set up for the ceremony, he noticed that he was practically standing in the aisle, right in the way of the wedding party’s procession. He scooted and scrunched back as far has he could, trying to minimize his intrusiveness.
Soon, the ceremony began, and my colleague began his rendition of Here Comes the Bride.
“Ba, buh, buh-buh….”
As the bride approached, it became clear (to the bassist, at least) that there was scant clearance between bride and bass. This was going to be tight!
The bride began to pass.
The bassist pulled a down bow, and managed to bow right into the bride’s posterior as she walked past, stopping the bass mid-phrase.
“Ba, buh, huh *WHACK*!”
Mortified, the bassist managed to start back up, finishing up the processional.
Moral of the story?
If you really want the bass player to play the melody for your “big day,” so be it…. just watch your butt as you pass him!
Story Time 5: Auditioning is a Rotten Pastime
Here’s episode 5 of Story Time with Contrabass Conversations, based upon a tale about an audition I did for the now-defunct San Jose Symphony.
Story Time 4 – Annoying Conductors 101
Here’s the latest episode of Story Time with Contrabass Conversations. These stories recount some of the funny, sad, poignant, and painful moments in the life of a freelance road warrior. Find the text version of this story here, and check out Contrabass Conversations for more weekly double bass content.
Sponsors:
Subscribe to our podcast!
Recent Podcasts- CBC 124: ISB 2009 Impressions
- CBC 123: Klauss Stoll interview
- Guy Tuneh performs at 2009 Bodenseefestival
- CBC 122: Music School Choices
- CBC 121: Ben Jensen performance
- CBC 120: Ed Barker interview
- CBC 119: David Cardon and the Unfortunate Incident
- CBC 118: Jon Burr interview
- CBC 117: Mark Morton interview 2
- Audio from my appearance at Chicago Music Commission panel
Network with us!
-
-
Blog highlights
